I feel it coming dollface. The things you say. we're chatting just a little bit less everyday. I have a feeling you want to tell me we have to stop. I panic at the thought. I know it's silly. I know how things are. but i cant deny what i feel.
Please don't leave me yet. Let me prepare first.
I said something the other day about you and me in our own little world. And it made me think more about it. We are in this little world together. We have a long history together. Good or bad. You said you were married 20 years, and I remember thinking, I've been there for 12 of them so far.
I want so desperately for you to pour out your soul to me. I want desperately to tell me how much I mean to you. How much you need me. Anything, just to let me know that I am not crazy for even remotely feel this way. Every night I say goodnight and a silent I love you.
I know you Kerry, you are so open to me in so many ways and in so many ways closed to me. You control without being obvious. You haven't slipped up once.
I want to pull away sometimes just to see if you'll react but I don't want to call your buff.
I say it over and over in my head. Stop it Carey, Stop it Now. Every day is closer to the hurt.
We are chatting now and I long to be in your arms. You are alone at home for a few hours. And I have this need to be held. For you to hold me, but you don't even do that. Something else you control. I know it.
Oh Kerry, I have to get out now. I don't want to . I really really don't. But it's going to hurt more the longer it goes. Stop it for me please.
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