I Love You today.....

...and I know you know it. Everyday I feel it more and more. You.... You are showing tiny little signs. The things you say, your terms of endearment. My good mornings and good nights.

I feel it....a slight change in you. You're more responsive. Attentive. Aware. I love it. We are so backwards. This was supposed to be over with already. But everyday I feel closer and closer to you. I know you know it and feel it.

Where the hell do we go from here? You say sometimes "when you dump me .....when you tire of me....". And I always say silently, I can't bear the thought of being without you.

You're opening up to me. How long I've been waiting for that. You say its babbling, but its far from it. There are so many things I want to share with you, but I don't dare.

I threw it out there, finally, that I'm in love with you. You responded just like I thought you would. Unemotional. But its okay my love. I just needed you to know. You can do whatever you want with the info. Internalize it, compartmentalize it, I don't care. I just need you to know its real.

I hope that you do react to that knowledge, even if its to yourself.

A thought just hit me. Maybe you're only showing signs to make up for the past. You now know how I really felt back then. I guess it doesn't matter right now. What matters is that we are in sync now. Whatever that means.

We are chatting now, it's weird how i'm talking to you here, and there. lol. And you say you're nuts.

I have to get a job. that will mean I won't see you. Only in the mornings I guess. Not nearly enough time for me. I need your touch and kisses.

I know you're gonna find some time real time for us. I know it. You're going to miss me and the personal attention I give you. You're not going to let that go too easily. You are resourceful and I will wait patiently. All I've been doing is waiting. We both have.

You are asking questions that I don't want to answer but I try to be open to you so you can be open to me. That is all for tonight my love. I shall see you in just a few short hours.