Ok, so I overreacted....

I thought you'd be more freaked out about the whole thing. I was convinced you'd be giving us the boot. But no, my love. Because you need me too. You don't have to say it. It'd be nice. Lol. I was so panicked. I feel silly that I told you how bad I felt.

You'll be in the city Friday. You told me knowing that I would know exactly what that meant. I think I want to make my move. We may not have another chance. Every week could be our last. I know you know that too.

I feel like I need to express to you some of my feelings, but it might make you uncomfortable.

I want to tell you that I am so lonely and have been for years. I want to tell you that you fill most of that void for me and that I'm thankful for the relationship we have because I desperately need to feel deeply connected.

I want to tell you that I feel so lost and that you somehow make me feel found. Every single email just as important as the next.

I want to tell you how much I actually think about you during the day. All day long. Only minutes at a time go by before you're in my head again.

I want to tell you that I'm obsessed over you and us.

I want to tell you that I know how ridiculous I must sound. How crazy I must seem to feel this way. I can't help but to think you MUST go through something similar. We talk all day long everyday. How could I not be on your mind all day?

I want to ask you for a sign or symbol of your 'Love' for/of me.

You know I want it and you know I need it. I know your controlling side keeps you from it. But after all this time I would think you would throw me a bone.

Maybe when you kissed me yesterday it was your way of showing me something. In your own way. You kiss me because you know I need it. Your way of giving me something....just a little bit of something.

I think after all this time I have earned some part of you. A part of you that is only mine. I want to respect your boundaries, but it is you and me baby. Boundaries and rules are for another time with other people.

Sigh, if only you could hold me right now. Won't you just hold me one day. Take care of my needs as I do yours. I don't ask much of you. In my head and heart yes, I ask for a whole lot. But I let you get away with being cold and distant. A price I pay for a piece of you.

I hope when I see you on Friday you take care of some of my needs. You know what I need.


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